In a remarkable first, Ted Kennedy journeyed over a body of water on Monday June 9, 2002 with a female passenger, former Penthouse pet Shae Marks, without anyone dying. As everyone reading this surely knows, the Kennedy record for travel across water is remarkably dismal. In fact this is the first verified occurence of a successful trip.
Bystanders, who witnessed Mr. Kennedy and Ms. Marks parachuting to safety after their plane crashed into Lake Michigan, were beside themselves with joy. One bystander, a Mr. Charles Chandaki was so overcome that he could barely speak through his tears of joy.
"I didn't think I would ever see the day." Mr. Chandaki said. "I've been following the Kennedy family for years. They are like our royalty you know. They are the family that we all look to for inspiration. But every time one of them tries to take a chickadee over water you know it's just bad news. Usually the best that you can hope for is that the Kennedy survives while the woman dies. And you can't always count on that."
Mr. Chandaki choked back more tears before continuing. "Anyway, this is a good sign. If Senator Kennedy has finally broken the great aquatic curse it means that their last weakness has been destroyed. It's what Superman would feel like if there were no more kryptonite."
Mr. Kennedy was the pilot of the plane and, being aware of his family history, took precautions before boarding the plane. He made sure that both he and Ms. Marks were equipped with the latest in military no-fail parachutes. When the plane suddenly began to nosedive, Mr. Kennedy and Ms. Marks were able to jump from the plane and float harmlessly to the ground.
There are unconfirmed rumors that the real reason for the parachute jump was Mr. Kennedy's desire to get some skydiving nookie from Ms. Marks. The fact that the jump suits were both crotchless does lead one to wonder.
